A Love Letter to My Wife

Posted by on June 15, 2011

Dearest Stacey

It will be 22 years in June,  actually 26 since we met in the winter of 85 at The Breakfast Club.  All the cliches about the years flying by are true, especially when you stand on the precipice of a now that has many years behind it, and those years just keep passing by and passing by.  The magic of memory and time allows me to be present and remember a moment long ago; I can feel both the immediacy of the past and the distance in between.  I realize now by comparison how little we really knew then.  How young and how naive; and yet how else are you to start out? Everyone else started the same way.  Each one leaves the nest and makes their own way in the world to discover and grow; leaving with a partner allows you to walk the path with confidence, its an unknown but its an unknown together.

And I realize now how much of what I am is a product of not only where I’ve been but who I’ve been with.  What we have together now can’t be taken away; ever.   What defines us self-referentially is who we are : a kingdom of experiences, our choices together.  We are bound by our mutual togetherness; a love that has grown until we are entwined through and through : “and they shall become one”.  What we create together is the legacy of our children.  All the material things will fade away, indeed some already have.  We impart to them more in the actual participation of being a family than we can through some rote instruction of principles.  They learn to love by watching us love each other and them in turn.  So much of our time and energy are poured into each other and into them.  How can they not become representations of us, reflections, shades and shadows of whatever light we cast into their lives.  And how proud we are to see them now as they are and as they are becoming.

Anniversaries are marked moments in time :  a metronome that marks the years, sometimes we have to pause and remember which number we are counting.  These are  times to remember : the event(s) that brought us together and all the events in between.  Joy on that happy day when the future stretched out bright and uncertain.  There was little then, but the hope was strong.  That wedding day in June at a temple on top a hill over looking our small valley where we grew of age.  And then the rush of memory as I close my eyes and I can see the days stretching out from forever.  The adventures and times we’ve had, the good and the bad.  The lightness of being and the darkness of difficult.  But slowly, ever so slowly, like the morning light on a new day we stand now tall hand in hand; a strong a river of time behind us and an appreciation that there is much more to go, much more to go.  And best of all we go together.

I love you more now then I did then, not because of some limitation I once possessed but because with of all the time that has passed my capacity has increased.

Your Husband

6 Responses to A Love Letter to My Wife

  1. btezra

    that was beautiful, Mark, simply beautiful – thank you for sharing every single word

  2. Stacey griffith

    Thank you Mark. I would never have thought on that night 26 yrs ago when Barb left us at the movie that we’d be here 22 yrs later. That we’d have these three beautiful children, living in China, having shared good times and hard times together and being with my love and my best friend! I thought that night that you were a cute guy but a little strange in your army boots and trench coat and bleached blonde bangs. You turned out to be this amazing friend then and still are today. It’s been a wonderful 22 yrs and I look forward to the rest of our life together. I love you! Wo ai Ni!

  3. Beth Shepherd

    So sweet. As a “newlywed” at 48, I’ll be an old lady when we celebrate our 22nd anniversary, but I hope we are as lucky and as strong to go the distance! Happy Anniversary Mark and Stacey!

  4. Tom Wagner

    When a thoughtful person with a deep passion shares their feelings it helps me grow and be able to feel more thoughtfully too. Thank you for sharing your inner most feelings which inspire all of us as well.

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